Unless you are as smart as Johann Karl Friedrich Gauss, savvy as a half-blind
Calcutta bootblack, tough as General William Tecumseh Sherman, rich as the
Queen of England, emotionally resilient as a Red Sox fan, and as generally able
to take care of yourself as the average nuclear missile submarine commander,
you should never have been allowed near this document. Please dispose of it as
you would any piece of high-level radioactive waste and then arrange with a
qualified surgeon to amputate your arms at the elbows and gouge your eyes from
their sockets.
